Augustine

I'm having trouble downloading more pictures from the NC visit and from last night during which Monica's godmother Beth hosted us for dinner.
So in lieu of that, I'm posting about the feast day today of St. Augustine. We chose Augustine as John Paul's middle name. He is also Luis' patron saint. And of course St. Monica is Augustine's persevering mother who we named our Monica after. So you could say we are kind of a Monica/Augustine family. We love these two.
One of the things I love best about Augustine is that he explored and sought truth for so many years. I've never read his entire "Confessions", but I've heard it said that it's one of the first psychological works. The man understood the workings of the human person in it's crazy complexity. He sought to understand truth. He fought to live it. He fell many times. He kept on searching. And all the while his mother quietly prayed for years on end for him.
Yesterday I had a hard day. I'm sleep deprived because we're still recovering from our North Carolina trip AND I've been staying up too late reading these great novels by Regina Doman. AND I'm emotionally anxious about the transition into the school year which starts next Tuesday. AND I had scheduled us for activities all day (what happened to the "less is more" resolution?) AND committed to make a meal for a friend who just had a baby. By mid afternoon I could feel myself losing it with the kids so I called my dear husband and begged him to come home so I could get out to clear my head. I drove out to the Poor Clare monastery. To me, it's the most peaceful place around. It's a simple chapel with lots of light and an aged incense smell. AND it's extra special to us because we had the privilege of burying our first child in the front underneath the Crucifix. This was our child we named Gabriel Grace who we lost on March 7, 2003 at 6 weeks gestation. Even today the rose bush we planted in his honor still blooms bright yellow/orange flowers for several months a year underneath the Cross.
I'm mentioning this to put the following Augustine quote from "Confessions" into context. It's on days like yesterday that I need to read things like this. Days when I feel very very far from peace & goodness. It's my favorite:

"Late have I loved you,
O Beauty ever ancient, ever new,
late have I loved you!

You were within me, but I was outside,
and it was there that I searched for you.
In my unloveliness I plunged into the lovely things which you created.

You were with me, but I was not with you.
Created things kept me from you;
yet if they had not been in you they would not have been at all.

You called, you shouted, and you broke through my deafness.
You flashed, you shone, and you dispelled my blindness.
You breathed your fragrance on me;
I drew in breath and now I pant for you.

I have tasted you, now I hunger and thirst for more.
You touched me, and I burned for your peace."

So it's time to stop blogging to go help wipe John Paul's bottom. (I'd better do it before Gabe tries!).
But I'll end this post with a quote from the Mass for today that I found comfort in:

"Lord, renew in your Church the spirit of Saint Augustine. Filled with this spirit, may we thirst for you alone as the fountain of wisdom and seek you as the source of eternal love."